Monday, September 6, 2010


Note - this was written a few days ago and I am just getting around to posting it.

Current Location: Amtrak from NYC to Baltimore.

Attraction is an interesting quality that is perceived by men and women differently, similar to many other qualities.

I was talking with Kruse (who is female) yesterday about attraction and her theory is spot on – Men primarily use attraction as a qualifier for conversation – females do not. Let’s use examples to quickly expand on this: A man encounters to females on the street. The first female is attractive, the second is not attractive. They both come up to him to talk to him (let's say they ask him for directions). As they approach, the man (generally) will only consider talking to the attractive one; the unattractive one is pretty much SOL to steal any of his attention. The reason is that the man immediately thinks about talent and future potential– the attractive female would be a solid pick up in the male’s life (slightly barring married men or any equivalent). Switching the genders in this situation, Kruse (and I) would argue that the unattractive man would have a closer-to-even chance of obtaining the females attention than an attractive one (barring the extremes such as giant facial moles with hair, warts, any sort of blatant disfigurement and missing/rotten/crooked teeth). The reason being that the female will not be as quick to judge the males based on their outward qualities.

I am perfectly content with this theory – what I am more curious about is why this occurs. If I were walking down the street and saw two girls, randomly, I have no real reason to assume that I would be sleeping with either of them in the future, right? I would argue that it’s actually an instinct that pushes forth the human population. We know that in the animal kingdom, mates are attracted to each other based on a better genetic disposition – a disposition defined differently between species. For male humans, that disposition has been thought to be increased based on specific qualities (which, mind you, are greatly affected by media and social opinion) that are generally visual. This attractiveness will naturally push males to talk to specific females, regardless of their setting and potentiality, and favor more attractive ones.

I suppose a similar argument could then be made for females –the qualities that they value or consider attractive are not necessarily visual – perhaps it’s intelligence, wit, humor, etc. What does that say about females? I think many would come to the conclusion that females are more kind and accepting. Perhaps that is the case. However, one could also come to the conclusion that males may initially disregard those inward qualities because those inward qualities in their mate will be unlikely to advance their progenies genetic disposition as much as the outward qualities...

I suppose, then, finding that balance between these qualities between two people truly drives them together during that first encounter.

Currently listening to: Jeff Buckley (Grace) and some old Matchbox 20.

Currently excited about: Pig roast tomorrow in Baltimore (random old friends from CT will be there independently of my attendance).

No comments:

Post a Comment